Nobody likes being accused of being selfish and no body really likes the idea of being a manipulator of others but I have been accused like most of us on occasion of being both of these by people who are hot under the collar and needing to throw some ammunition at me. Even tho I know we are a reflection of what we hear and say, it does not mean there is not always an element of truth in it and there is not an element of self reflection as a result. After all, I too have been known to accuse my teenage children of being selfish and my youngest of being manipulating because in truth they can be at times – they are normal children !
In the past few months I have pondered the idea of being selfish and whether my actions could fall into this category and it is not something I was very comfortable with because my old mantra was – be grateful for what you do have because there is always else somebody suffering more than you are, whatever you may be going through. So to think now that my dogged determination could be conceived as selfish on my part is a question I have struggled to answer.
But a few things recently have helped put this into perspective. Yes I do have a massive vision (one that many people don’t know about or understand – mainly because I don’t tell them) but also partly because it is so huge it needs to be broken down into smaller chunks for it to manifest itself and those chunks take time to define and implement. I also trust that I have a deep sense of faith that what I am doing is about helping others not about my own ego or my own desire for success.
I have also learnt that when helping someone else out what we gain in our own worlds can be repaid just as un-measurably when we don’t control what we think we should get back and finally by freeing ourselves from the judgement of what others think the reasons are why we do things, we finally find our wings and fly.
So for me ? yes we do need to sometimes be selfish to be selfless and neither are something to be shied away from because this world needs big visions and it needs people who are free to shine the light to help others to find the life that is worth living for them. So as you enter into this weekend make sure you are doing something that you are passionate about and ensure that when you have a moment to reflect, if that niggle of whether you are being selfish enters your consciousness, acknowledge it and then know that sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless and that is more than OK.
